dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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