shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
