I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
