After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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