just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
