Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
