i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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