True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
