I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
