How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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