apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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