brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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