I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
