pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You left your underwear on the fireplace
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
