C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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