So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Randomize
