don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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