I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize
