It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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