He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Randomize
