i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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