If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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