Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize