my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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