I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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