the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
