i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
As shirtless as possible
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize