I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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