I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
