please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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