So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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