I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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