just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
they need to just BURY HIM!
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
