So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
