Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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