Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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