evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
i think my cat just said my name.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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