and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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