She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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