Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
