Can i not drive my cunt home
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
