The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
