just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
