I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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