why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
