I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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