Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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