He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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