is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
