this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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