Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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