Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize