They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
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