he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
