Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
