loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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