There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
