I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize