okay pat passed out under dana's car
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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