She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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