Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize