he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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