Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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