Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I checked into jail on foursquare
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
