i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
