Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
