i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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