he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
So many bounce houses so little time
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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