you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
