It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
