You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
