i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
