Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm passing your future prison.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
