trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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