Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
