your room smells of hookers.
And success
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
