I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
