I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I have peed in a lot of sinks
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
