The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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